Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
