we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
