my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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