I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
