Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
