I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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