I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
