HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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