i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
