The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
