you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
