I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
