The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
