after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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