Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
