Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
