I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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