Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
