omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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