Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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