That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
