I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I touched a dick in church today
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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