the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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