Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
