I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
