Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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