I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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