I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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