She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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