Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
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Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
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Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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