i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
