We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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