Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
