I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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