She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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