I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
