he shaved USA in his pubs
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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