I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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