Can i not drive my cunt home
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
