You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
