Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Farmville is her only friend.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
