i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize