i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I AM VODKA MAN
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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