You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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