I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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