This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
