I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
