Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
