pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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