standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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