HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
