Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize