Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
