But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
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That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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