CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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