there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize