Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
