his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
