If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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