is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
