I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
